“To Three O’clock in the Morning!”

In order to control, we must make things consistent, as if that is truly the way the world works. To contradict is to be a hypocrite—which is what I am—but this is the most immoral man—which I am afraid to be, so I lie to myself and to you and pretend to be true, always true, some imagination that does not exist.

How can both hypocrisy and truth exist within me? One must rule over another, so out of my fear, I explain that which cannot be explained, and I push this lie knowing it is a lie but hoping no one will find it out as long as I keep using consistent logic to explain myself.

A good hypocrite can fool even himself.

He proves his usefulness and goodness by saying statements of common consciousness that are supposedly good for all, but that no one really cares about, because they do not hit the human heart, so we nod our heads and smile and go on with the common consciousness that is a lie to us all, a lie that we ourselves promote hoping that no one will catch us at the depths of suffering at three o’clock in the morning.

History, very strangely, does not care about three o’clock in the morning, so we learn very little from words.

Allow me to amuse you with my sadness.